A Tale about our Waiter

After a long night of little to no sleep I called my friend J. the next day to see if she wanted to hit the mall. For a change we went to a mall that's farther away and once we arrived, we decided that food (specifically dessert) was the first thing to get done. While wandering we came across a Johnn*y Rock*ts. It's diner style, with a very good looking apple pie a la mode.
We were escorted to our seats, where our waiter promptly asked if we were ready to order. Stunned, we mumbled out Diet Coke and "we'd need a minute". Eventually we ordered onion rings for J. and a hotdog for me, and at the last moment I decided a side of fries.
While waiting we cruised through the table-top jukebox and decided on E5 'Oh what a night'. Needless to say, our song did not play while we were there.
Finally, out come the rings and fries......but no dog. Our waiter pulls a ketchup squeaze bottle out of his apron and proceeds to squirt it onto a plate. 'There!' he says. I glance up at him and kindly ask if the hotdog will be coming out soon. He nods and repeats 'There!' shaking the plate with the hand drawn ketchup smiley face. Thanks we say as he giddy-ups away from the table. J. is facing the counter were he is going and says 'He totally forgot your hotdog, he's looking at his pad and entering it into the computer now.' But I ordered the hotdog first and then added on the fries, and I got the fries. 2 minutes later he retunred with the hotdog. I got my second bite in, when he returned to the table with our bill. "I'll leave this here and if you want to pay you can. Unless you want dessert, then I'll have to take it away and bring it back later?" J. who was able to speak said that we would be having dessert. "Do you want to order it now?" Still chewing I shake my head and J. translates, 'No we'll wait until we are done"
So I finish and we are ready for dessert and 'Quick Bill' is no where to be found. His walk and service and presumptions have gotten J. and I a case of the giggles, bad. As I finish J. catches our waiter coming back from the hostess station. She leans out from the table smiles and says hello? which gets her a Hi! back as he conitnues on. Now we know he thinks she likes him. All the smiles and teenage girl giggles have this guy thinking he's going to get a big tip. He comes back to the table to see if we are ready for dessert. As I munch my last fry, J. orders 2 Apple pie a la modes. 'Two?' he says looking at J. astonished that someone likes pie that much. "For the two of us." Oh! and off to the back with him. I nearly spit my fry out. How J. could keep her composure was beyond me.
The pie was okay, but it hit the craving spot. We got the revised bill, and before we openned it we guessed at our waiters name. 'Tommy' J. says. 'That's unoriginal' I say. I think Darren. J. says that's to normal. Well,I thought, his parents had high hopes!
It was Colin. Thanks for the laughs Colin, we'll be back when we need to brighten our day.